"Have no friends not equal to yourself."
- Confucious (551 - 497 BC) Chinese philosopher.
"Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends."
- Jacques Delille (1738 - 1813) French poet.
- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) British lexiographer.
"True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shock of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation"
- George Washington
"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the
confident knowledge that they will help us"
-Epicurus (341-270 BC) Greek Philosopher
"Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things in life"
- James Francis Byrnes
"Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies"
-Aristotle
- Jacques Delille (1738 - 1813) French poet.
"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud."
"The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one."
"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) British lexiographer.
"True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shock of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation"
- George Washington
"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the
confident knowledge that they will help us"
-Epicurus (341-270 BC) Greek Philosopher
"Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things in life"
- James Francis Byrnes
"Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies"
-Aristotle
Friendship. It's been a part of mankind since our less than idyllic departure from the Garden of Eden. Whether you believe the story of Adam and Eve is literal, or allegorical, there is no question that man came to value friendship as part of his fledgling support system. This rambling collection of thoughts is by no means intended to downplay the critical role of our families, spouses or partners. I will be rambling about them as well.
The quotes above from philosophers, poets and statesmen are thought provoking, and worth a good deal of pondering. However, one thing that all of these quotes convey is a sense of depth in a friendship. Modern society's use of the word "friend" encompasses many definitions and levels of friendship, with adjectives like "my best" or "my work" or "my e-mail" or "my special" planted firmly in front of the word, to emphasize ownership and vaguely define the nature of the relationship. "Friend" is often used interchangeably with buddy, pal, acquaintance, compadre, homey, and even BFF. "Friend" has become synonymous with "someone I know".
The quotes above from philosophers, poets and statesmen are thought provoking, and worth a good deal of pondering. However, one thing that all of these quotes convey is a sense of depth in a friendship. Modern society's use of the word "friend" encompasses many definitions and levels of friendship, with adjectives like "my best" or "my work" or "my e-mail" or "my special" planted firmly in front of the word, to emphasize ownership and vaguely define the nature of the relationship. "Friend" is often used interchangeably with buddy, pal, acquaintance, compadre, homey, and even BFF. "Friend" has become synonymous with "someone I know".
As I sit here contemplating, and attempt to define "friend", I am struggling to find words to convey the feeling of what a deep and abiding friendship means to me. It's the aggregation of all those profound quotes above, and yet more. Dozens of adjectives come to mind describing components of it, but not one overriding thought or phrase to encircle it and wrap it up in a neat little package.
When I think of my dearest friendships, they exude a feeling of comfort, trust and joy whether we are together or apart. True friendship and love are, to a great extent, interchangeable, and co-dependent at the deepest levels. You can't be a friend without loving, and you can't love someone without being their friend.
Exposing who you are, smiles and tears, joys and scars, highs and lows, successes and failures, all become easy when friendship, like love, is unconditional. Friends challenge each other to be better, encourage each other, and accept the results.
When we are enveloped in our darkest hours, our true friends are ones that stay with us, and light the way back for us. Acquaintances are gone long before we bottom out.
As I have struggled with the mistakes of my past, with my failures, self-deceptions and uncertainties, I worried that my dearest friends would find me lacking, and not worthy of their friendship. To the contrary, it seemed to strengthen the bond, and love and acceptance and support remains unconditional, as I should have known. Because I know I am that kind of friend, and I have chosen my friends wisely.
When I think of my dearest friendships, they exude a feeling of comfort, trust and joy whether we are together or apart. True friendship and love are, to a great extent, interchangeable, and co-dependent at the deepest levels. You can't be a friend without loving, and you can't love someone without being their friend.
Exposing who you are, smiles and tears, joys and scars, highs and lows, successes and failures, all become easy when friendship, like love, is unconditional. Friends challenge each other to be better, encourage each other, and accept the results.
When we are enveloped in our darkest hours, our true friends are ones that stay with us, and light the way back for us. Acquaintances are gone long before we bottom out.
As I have struggled with the mistakes of my past, with my failures, self-deceptions and uncertainties, I worried that my dearest friends would find me lacking, and not worthy of their friendship. To the contrary, it seemed to strengthen the bond, and love and acceptance and support remains unconditional, as I should have known. Because I know I am that kind of friend, and I have chosen my friends wisely.
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