Carnival Ride

I'm not a big fan of most carnival rides - or at least I wasn't. Many new things appeal to me now, so who knows ? I didn't mind the occasional run down the Log Flume, or the Tilt-a-Whirl, or White Water Rafting, but nothing really intense. Nothing that flips me upside down or rushes me towards my death at the bottom of a roller-coaster.

Lately, I've had this recurrent dream, or snippets of a dream. There's a ride called "The Roundup". It's a circular ride. You stand up and hold some bars next to you. I'm sure there is a belt or a bar or something in front of you as well. The wheel starts to spin around, faster and faster, and the centrifugal force starts to press you back against the wall behind you.

If you concentrate, the people across from you are still in focus, because they are moving at the same rate of speed. Then, to add to the drama, the bottom starts to open and the wheel tilts, and images creep into your mind about falling out of the bottom if the wheel suddenly slows or stops. The whirring gears below you look like the teeth of some ravenous dinosaur just waiting for the first tasty snack to drop in.

As you strain against the G-force and to turn your head to either side to compare your level of uncertainty with your neighbor, your eyes are distracted from their focus by images of other rides and faces and lights whipping by. And now even that person across the way, traveling at the exact same speed as you are, starts to blur.

My dream doesn't end there, however. Suddenly, my handles start to recede into the wall behind me. The restraints unbuckle themselves and follow the handles. The ride is spinning faster now, and I feel the forces starting to tug me towards the upper edge of the wall behind me. I start to panic about being sling-shotted up and out of the ride, and come crashing down through the top of a large tent, killing not only myself, but a poor unsuspecting throng watching the 4-H junior pig raising competition, including the blue medal winner, Peggy Ann and her beloved pig Adelaide Marie.

Somehow, I suspect that this dream isn't too literal. As far as I know and believe, I will never again go on such a ride (allowing for the slight possibilities indicated in sentences one and two above). I suspect it has something to do with the fact that my life feels like it is spinning out of control, and I can't find my own handles to grab a hold and save myself from being unceremoniously tossed onto the hard pavement of life. Somehow, I need to program this dream to include the bit about looking to either side, where I will find my family and friends along for the ride. And look down to see that they have already grabbed my hands, and collar, and belt, and secured me against an untimely demise.

I'm starting to think that, the scarier the ride, the more I need to let go of the handles. And trust.