A Cold and Dreary December

A late fall rain is cascading from the sky. The air is chilled already, seemingly ahead of schedule for a North Carolina December; the cold dampness seems to penetrate my jacket as easily as a breeze through a window screen, and settle directly into my bones.

The December chill finds comfort and companionship inside me. It's not alone. It meets and is befriended by a cold and dreary depression that has also settled into my being, soaking into bones and tissue, heart and soul. Like a stalled weather front, it slowly rotates but never seems to really move on to the next place.

My life and path at times seem like a weather report; my predictions for improving conditions no more accurate. The report says partly cloudy, and I base my day's journey on that assumption. But I never look out my window onto the world to see that it is already raining and prepare accordingly.

Occasionally, an unexpected warm front will come through, in the form of a hug, or words from a friend or loved one. Or perhaps a beautiful piece of music or nature will be lying in my emotional storm's path and disrupt the eye of the hurricane for a while, until it re-organizes and gains strength again.

All I can do is prepare for today's emotional weather, and get through this cold, dreary December and the wintry months that are sure to follow. I can choose to surrender myself to the penetrating cold, and fade slowly from consciousness into an emotional coma. Or I can wrap myself in the warm and comforting blankets of friends and family, while continuing to search for renewable ways to generate my own warmth.

The emotional joys of Spring are out there ahead of me. The calendar dictates the start of Spring as a date certain, but it doesn't guaranty the conditions. I'm looking ahead to an early Spring, with gentle spring rains, and warm breezes; new life and wonderful smells, and the blossoming colors of happiness among the tulips and daffodils, and violets.